Thursday 22 July 2010

The Fly and Other Annoying Things

Today I have paperwork to catch up on, so I'm chained to the desk, which is all very well except a fly keeps buzzing around my face and landing on me. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Bar-Os had company last night, a racing pigeon nestled on his window sill and remained there for several hours resting. The two seemed to get along just fine. Barman decided that pigeon needed a drink, so took it a BUCKET of water, accompanied by a massive bowl full of wild bird seed. Pigeon glared at Barman and ignored his hospitality.

BVC seems ages ago. Most of what I learnt is forgotten. I thought this was an age thing, but all of my group share the same amnesia and even the most simple procedural matters are a mystery (Part Thirtywhat?).

As for pupillage, well, after a promising start, matters have taken a nose-dive and I am currently seeking Cilla's help for the Bar, Blind Date Competition:

"No, the fact that you can wheelbarrow 39 horse droppings across the paddock to the muck heap without fainting once will NOT impress Chambers, and will NOT show that you have the necessary drive and determination to succeed at the Bar".
Back to the drawing board on that bit of the form then?

"No, the fact that you won at poker and made Barman stand on the wall outside your house singing All Things Bright and Beautiful at FULL BLAST will NOT demonstrate your killer negotiation skills"
Back to the drawing board on that bit of the form then? (It was really funny though).

"No, no, no, NO, the fact that you are known to use double or even treble expletives, to express emotion does NOT demonstrate exceptional advocacy skills".
Back to the *$^£@?&!  %&*!!* drawing board on that bit of the form then?

On the plus side, my day-job is looking very busy for August through to October, which is just as well seeing as BVC drained my finances.

On a slightly dodgy note, I have taken somehow to looking at the local(ish) property auction listings and have somehow been formulating figures as to:
a) how I can afford to buy a property at auction, to do-up, when I'm skint;
b) how I can manage to turn a profit on said property when the market is well and truly *&%$£!.

p.s. Don't tell Barman about the last bit, he'll have a hissy fit.
p.p.s. Don't tell bank or anyone about the last bit, they'll have a hissy fit.

ttfn



6 comments:

Minx said...

My Dear Maid,

I know this is going to sound a bit strange, but forgetting significant chunks of the BVC isn't actually that BAD of a thing because the theory doesnt translate at all well into practice - as you can see by Andro's most recent post related to a hearing she was supposed to attend/participate in. Unfortunately such a sentiment leads temporarily only to the conclusion that the whole damned thing was a waste of time and money, but I dont think it is when you have taken the time and trouble to construct for yourself the skeleton of a practice which pupillage will fill out with practical experience.

I am most fortunate that my garden is not visited by pigeons though when feeding the birds the supplies are often ransacked by a gang of starlings not too dissimilar to either a troupe of medieval tumblers or a bunch of itenerant dustmen; it is suffient to say that if they had been presented with as large a bowl of food as rogue pigeon was there would be very little left after 5 minutes.

The auction thing sounds interesting - why dont you also check out some crafting blogs? some people have turned relatively simple little things like, oh, making stuffed toys ( just an example!!!) and so forth, into quite the domestic industry!!

Barmaid said...

I too get starlings - greedy gits! And as for the sparrows, I've never know such a dysfunctional lot of arguing, noisy and spiteful creatures; they seem to thrive on domestic violence.

The auction thing is a blast from the past - quite fancied myself as a Sarah Beeny at one point (without the er, enormous er 'attributes'), but got sidetracked with law. Not a good time to be thinking about it again but old habits die hard!

Minx said...

the sparrows coming to my garden are generally quite polite - though their kids, which have just fledged, are a bunch of lazy little oiks, expecting food to be fed to them and then stuffing their faces when their parents backs are turned - is our conversation turning into a metaphor for civil society, I wonder?!

There's nothing wrong with exploring the idea of being a more compact version of Ms Beeny, though is there?!-

Barmaid said...

My dad has been fostered by a Mrs Blackbird - he fed her whilst she was feeding her young, she's now returning the favour. If his kitchen door is left open, she hops in and drops tasty morsels at my dad's feet. She's so thoughtful, even split a cherry open and removed the stone before offering it up!

Maybe society isn't completely trashed:-)

As for the property thing, my head tells me that the market may well drop further before it recovers.

white rabbit said...

Maybe invest in some fly paper? Then have fun watching the little fellows get stuck to it and die a horrible (if you're a fly) death...

*evil cackle*

Barmaid said...

WR , Peace at last. I think one of the many spiders in Barmaid Towers has done-in the fly. Knew those cobwebs would come in handy one day:-)