Saturday, 23 October 2010

How to make myself attractive to chambers?

I thought that my pro bono efforts were ok, pretty good in fact. Two years in crime related pro bono, one in civil. But having failed to secure a pupillage this year, I must re-invent myself into something more attractive to chambers. To this end I'm going to work for a planning consultancy for a few weeks. They are a respected firm that have taken on some diverse projects over the years, some of them quite controversial. I know the MD from many years ago when he started the firm and sent him an email pleading for some help. Surprisingly he contacted me the following day with an offer (I think luck had something to play in this because they are about to lose a graduate member of staff, who is off on a sabatical).

It will be nice to have a change of scenery and routine for a while and I'm hoping to learn something of the nuts and bolts of planning. The MD is a poacher turned gamekeeper, having worked as a senior planning officer before setting up his own business many years ago. He's a nice chap too and has offered to drive me into work for the first day, so that I can suss out the best route. I just hope that my claims of making a fabulous cup of coffee weren't taken too seriously, or I could be out on my ear by the end of the first day.

So, if that lot fails, it's a case of investing in some industrial strength botox, industrial strength big (grab your flab and tuck it in) pants and a boob job.

Bar-Os had a visit from an equine physiotherapist yesterday. She started by massaging his neck and back - his response would rival that of Meg Ryan from THAT scene in When Harry Met Sally. However, his evident 'oh my God, that is sooooo good baby, do it summore' was rudely interupted when she started inflicting slaps. The startled look on his face set me off in a fit of giggles. S & M doesn't float my boy's boat it seems. No pain, no gain I guess?

Have a good weekend - ttfn.

Thursday, 14 October 2010

An explanation is required

Bar-Os' paddock is on the outskirts of the village, tucked away down a lane that is lined with hawthorn. It's quite peaceful down the lane and no-one walks there much. So, there I was, in the paddock 'sorting out' Bar-Os. I usually take him into the field shelter, but as he was settled by the fence, talking to the mare in the adjacent field, I decided not to disturb him. A bucket full of freshly 'picked' manure later, I turned to take said manure to the muck heap, when I noticed Raspberry Ripples walking UP the lane with her dog. So, that meant that she must have walked DOWN the lane a few moments earlier.

Oh dear thought I, an explanation is required. I sauntered over to the gate and casually mentioned that Bar-Os was poorly. "Aye" said Raspberry Ripples, "I saw you with your hand up his bum".

There's more...

The lane also has a slight bend in it, just before Bar-Os' paddock, which means that in Summertime, when the hedge is in full leaf, I can't see Bar-Os until I'm almost at his field. To let him know that I'm on my way down the lane I usually shout various terms of endearment to him. He whickers in return and (usually) makes his way to the gate to be brought home for the night. Anyway, on this particular occasion I shouted "Now then, you gorgeous big chap, you coming to bed?". At this point in time I was somewhat surprised to notice a man appearing from around the bend about 10 metres away. But the man was even more surprised than me, I could tell by the terrified look on his face. An explanation is required thought I. "I was talking to my horse" said I. Man looked even more worried and scuttled up the lane pronto. Funnily enough, I haven't seen him since.

On a more tasteful note, I'm missing law. I know, it's a sad confession, but having gotten sick of studying towards the end of BVC, two months or so on I'm missing my legal studies. Not that I'd want to go back to studying that is, but a pupillage would be an ideal antidote. Day job is busy, but I'm bored and restless and yearn to put my studies to good use.

The hotel at the back of my house had another very noisy firework display last weekend and to add insult to injury, they also set about burning a load of rubbish at the back of my house last Sunday. I got back home to discover my upstairs rooms full of smoke. Needless to say, they are now pissing me off upsetting me, and I intend to take matters further. The Environmental Health people have been a waste of time, "Fireworks don't constitute a statutory noise nuisance". My letter of response has, to date, been ignored, but I shall keep badgering them to do something. This is all avoidable, after all, the hotel stands in about 20 acres, much of the land is away from the village, so the fireworks could be set off away from the residential area. But worry not, the Village idjuts/Busybodies Parish Council are taking an interest and are having a meeting in November. Bet that's put the fear of God into the hoteliers;-)

It's more exciting than the Archers innit!