How to make myself attractive to chambers?

I thought that my pro bono efforts were ok, pretty good in fact. Two years in crime related pro bono, one in civil. But having failed to secure a pupillage this year, I must re-invent myself into something more attractive to chambers. To this end I'm going to work for a planning consultancy for a few weeks. They are a respected firm that have taken on some diverse projects over the years, some of them quite controversial. I know the MD from many years ago when he started the firm and sent him an email pleading for some help. Surprisingly he contacted me the following day with an offer (I think luck had something to play in this because they are about to lose a graduate member of staff, who is off on a sabatical).

It will be nice to have a change of scenery and routine for a while and I'm hoping to learn something of the nuts and bolts of planning. The MD is a poacher turned gamekeeper, having worked as a senior planning officer before setting up his own business many years ago. He's a nice chap too and has offered to drive me into work for the first day, so that I can suss out the best route. I just hope that my claims of making a fabulous cup of coffee weren't taken too seriously, or I could be out on my ear by the end of the first day.

So, if that lot fails, it's a case of investing in some industrial strength botox, industrial strength big (grab your flab and tuck it in) pants and a boob job.

Bar-Os had a visit from an equine physiotherapist yesterday. She started by massaging his neck and back - his response would rival that of Meg Ryan from THAT scene in When Harry Met Sally. However, his evident 'oh my God, that is sooooo good baby, do it summore' was rudely interupted when she started inflicting slaps. The startled look on his face set me off in a fit of giggles. S & M doesn't float my boy's boat it seems. No pain, no gain I guess?

Have a good weekend - ttfn.

R is for rectitude

Rectitude - n - correctness of judgment

I am no stranger to pro bono work, did 2 years of it during LLB and thoroughly enjoyed it. However, my BVC pro bono is not quite so, er, how shall I say, er, straightforward, in fact it's a minefield and the clients are all (well ok, nearly all) stark raving mad. Perhaps they all come out of the woodwork when it's my pro bono day?

Today was no exception to a 'normal' day's pro bono. The first client looked ok, quite normal in fact, apart from her eyes, which were wide and wild. Having lost her court case at first instance, this lady was in the mood for battle. Not at all thwarted by the somewhat dismal and very conclusive judgment against her, pro bono client is now going to expand her litigation and sue, the solicitor who represented her, the barrister who represented her, the CAB who are giving her bad advice "all the time", the expert witness who's report was "wrong".

The thing is, I do like to enter these things with an open mind, but time after time, the same theme seems to crop up - "conspiracy". Pro bono client didn't loose the case because it had no merit, no, no, no, it was lost because it is all a conspiracy against her, from the judge to the usher, "they're all in on it you know, no I can't give you my name, no you cannot ask what the case was about, because you are in on it too and will inform the other side of my cunning plan for appeal".

The second client looked dodgy from the word go. Another conspiracy theorist, wanted to bring a private criminal prosecution against Woolies for making all of those people redundant. No he didn't work for them, in fact had no connection with Woolworths at all, but he couldn't tell me too much because it involved top secret intellectual property that somehow was connected to making all those people redundant. Had a quick ask around the office and no-one had Stella Rimmington's telephone number to hand, so I sent him to the CAB instead.

Third client was quite normal, apart from the fact that he had been sent to prison for no good reason, but it was something to do with changing the television channel with a pen? No I couldn't work it out either, but was too exhausted to ask:-)

I'm now going to have a little lie down.