I don't very think so!

I'm busy over the next few weeks and will be working some funny hours, which has led to a dilemma. Big Boy's Bum. As you may have read in my previous posts, Bar-Os has partial paralysis of his rear end, so needs help in that department - help several times a day as it happens, because horses go about 8 - 12 times a day. Barman, who is secretly looking for a scive off work, has volunteered to 'do' Big Boy's Bum.

Yesterday got off to a poor start and I wasn't quite sure whether Barman was going to faint or not, and that was before we'd even got started! So today he decided to have another go.

Some of my favourite books are the James Herrriot vet stories, one of them is called If Only They Could Talk. Well let me tell you, the look on Bar-Os' face as Barman approached with sleeve rolled up, orange gloved and gelled up to the elbow, said it all -'I don't very think so buster'. There was much huffing and puffing on Barman's part, lots of soothing words from me (to Bar-Os of course:-)) and very little progress! Eventually I took over the reins, so to speak, more out of pity than anything else. I have a funny feeling that I won't be hanging up the lubrication gel just yet. Men eh!

In accordance with the vets advice, I have continued riding Bar-Os and he's in fine form, so much so that I mis-laid the brakes the other day. The fields are mostly clear of crops now and some of them haven't been ploughed yet, so I have been busy trespassing on the stubble fields and exploring new locations. A bit of new territory always gives Bar-Os a spring in his step and it's nice to see him enjoying himself. The faster exercise seems to help in the bum department too, as he's managing to go to the loo himself a few times a day.

So, that's enough about rectums! I haven't got a pupillage yet, but have a couple of applications outstanding. One is provincial and local, the other in London, both are entirely different to one another, but each look interesting. Having gotten through the Situational Judgement Test with the GLS, I went onto fail the following psychometric test thingy. It's obviously not my thing, as I failed the same type of test last year. I feel very thick!

I now have to sort out an email (which I've been meaning to do all week) to the hotel at the back of my house. The hotel featured on one of those trouble-shooting programmes last year and is owned by a pair of clueless, absentee, Americans. Having spent over £6m on the place, it stands mostly empty. The health spa is unfinished, the restaurant is unfinished, the kitchen is no larger than a decent domestic one, yet is meant to be able to cater for hundreds? The only activities which take place are weddings and parties, which are run by outside caterers and which brings me to the email. In their wisdom, the hoteliers offer firework displays, the 'industrial' ones that are loud, very loud, and are right at the back of Bar-Os' stable. Poor lad is terrified every weekend, refuses to eat or drink and then gets colic. I've had 2 weekend vet visits due to the said fireworks and am just about fed up with it all, not least the hefty bills that accompany the vet visits. So, I'm getting myself psyched up to rattle off a snotty letter and just hope that something will be done about it. A few other villagers with pets are also complaining, so I'm not alone in my plight, but it's very annoying that people can be so thoughtless about these things and have to be told time and again... I did stand and watch some Chinese lanterns going over, from the hotel, a few weeks back when the ground was dry and full of crops. I can't imagine that the local farmers will take lightly to those and I did notice one or two lanterns burning up and falling into the nearby fields. I can see an opening here, a Chinese lantern and firework litigation specialist, mm, bet there aren't many of those around!

Anyway, that's enough moaning from me, I'm going to clean the house have a kip and go for a hack later. What a gorgeous day:-)

The Pupillage Fairy and (non) Flying Pigs

As mentioned in my previous post, Bar-Os is poorly. His digestive system isn't working as well as it should and he's had a few bouts of mild colic. He's not really one to suffer in silence and stamps his feet if he needs 'the slave' (me) to attend - this has meant that I've had quite a few disturbed nights. On Wednesday night, I awoke at 1am to hear him stamping, did a quick check and went back to bed. At 4 am he was stamping his feet again, so I went back out, only to find that he was staring out of his window looking quite worried. I assumed that a local cat had startled him and thought nothing more of it. I gave him a jam butty laced with 'bute' pain-killer just in case he had a mild colic and crawled back to bed.

The next evening I was very tired. I thought I heard squealing at the back of Bar-Os' stable, but put it down to tiredness and an over active imagination on my part. On Friday, I went to get Bar-Os in from the paddock and lo and behold, there were 2 pigs munching away on a neighbours lawn. There was no-one else in sight and the pigs were making their way towards the road, so I decided to do the decent thing and try to get them to safety. Mmm, it would appear that pigs have a mind of their own and don't take lightly to being ushered around. Cars were passing by and the occupants were looking both bewildered and amused as I smiled sheepishly and shrugged my shoulders at the mayhem the porkies were causing. One driver scowled meanly at me and pursed his lips. "It's not my bloody fault; they're not mine" I said. Eventually the piggies made their way up a drive towards a crab apple tree, where they happily munched their way through the windfalls, pausing only to have a scrap amongst themselves over the spoils on offer. To be honest, I was quite relieved to discover that I wasn't going mad when I thought I'd heard squealing, and that the pigs had been going awol for several days on the trot (or should that be trotter). Poor Bar-Os must have woken from his slumber to see piggies parading past his stable and had stamped his feet for the slave to make them go away.

To date, I haven't managed to get a pupillage, but have sent off a few non-olpas applications; one to a chambers where I've recently done a mini-pupillage - time will tell whether they liked me or not. I have also gotten through to a second round on-line process for another pupillage and did an on-line test earlier today. Goodness me, 6 years of LLB, 2 years of BVC, and we still have to do tests to see if we are really fik or not. I'm entered for the 2012 Olympic Games for the Jumping Through Hoops competition. I must admit that when I finished BVC I was sick of the sight of law, but my interest in it has re-emerged and I really do want a pupillage; along with several thousand others unfortunately!

Day job is busy, which is just as well, as I seem to be keeping the vet in the style to which he has become accustomed. No matter how well I try to plan my finances, it always seems to be the case that the unexpected empties my bank account. Oh well, the weather has been lovely and I've much to be grateful for.

Sad Times

Oh well, I might as well tell you - Bar-Os is very ill.

He hasn't been 'right' for some time and I've made excuses not to ride him because I just felt that there was something that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Family members told me that I was worrying over nothing - his coat was shiny, his eyes bright, good appetite, no weight loss, no obvious signs of pain... But he was a little too well behaved for my liking, like he couldn't be quite bothered to be his usual cheeky self. Of course the warm weather seemed a likely cause of his laid back attitude and the flies have been awful this year...

He was well behaved with the farrier and there was no sign of the usual (effortless on Bar-Os' part) tug of war with the arrogant apprentice, who somehow thinks he's stronger than a horses back leg!

Anyway, following his breakfast last Thursday he went down with colic. I called the vet out and she tentatively diagnosed Cauda Equina Syndrome - it was something that she'd read about in the text books, but had never seen for herself. 2 more vets looked him over and it is more or less confirmed that he has CES. The second vet said that he'd seen 2 cases during his many years in practice, both fatal. The third vet seemed slightly more optimistic, but by no means certain that it won't get worse. The disease seems to often be caused by some other illness or infection and it kinda kicks in as an aftershock - it's a bit like M.E. I suppose, but causes paralysis of the 'rear end', along with lethargy. Spinal injury can also cause CES, but he's had no tumbles and the vet couldn't find any sore spots along his back. His blood count shows no raised white cell count, but he has a mild anaemia.

At the moment the paralysis hasn't spread to his back legs, but he has a limp tail, a weak bladder and can't pooh by himself (I have a plentiful supply of shoulder length disposable gloves and lubrication gel - I'll leave you to guess the rest). In order to save his dignity, we have told all of his equine friends that as a (putative) barrister's horse, he's far too posh to push.

Anyways, I'm sorry that this post couldn't be more entertaining, but it feels quite cathartic to share the worry.

The Fly and Other Annoying Things

Today I have paperwork to catch up on, so I'm chained to the desk, which is all very well except a fly keeps buzzing around my face and landing on me. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Bar-Os had company last night, a racing pigeon nestled on his window sill and remained there for several hours resting. The two seemed to get along just fine. Barman decided that pigeon needed a drink, so took it a BUCKET of water, accompanied by a massive bowl full of wild bird seed. Pigeon glared at Barman and ignored his hospitality.

BVC seems ages ago. Most of what I learnt is forgotten. I thought this was an age thing, but all of my group share the same amnesia and even the most simple procedural matters are a mystery (Part Thirtywhat?).

As for pupillage, well, after a promising start, matters have taken a nose-dive and I am currently seeking Cilla's help for the Bar, Blind Date Competition:

"No, the fact that you can wheelbarrow 39 horse droppings across the paddock to the muck heap without fainting once will NOT impress Chambers, and will NOT show that you have the necessary drive and determination to succeed at the Bar".

Back to the drawing board on that bit of the form then?

"No, the fact that you won at poker and made Barman stand on the wall outside your house singing All Things Bright and Beautiful at FULL BLAST will NOT demonstrate your killer negotiation skills"

Back to the drawing board on that bit of the form then? (It was really funny though).

"No, no, no, NO, the fact that you are known to use double or even treble expletives, to express emotion does NOT demonstrate exceptional advocacy skills".

Back to the *$^£@?&!  %&*!!* drawing board on that bit of the form then?

On the plus side, my day-job is looking very busy for August through to October, which is just as well seeing as BVC drained my finances.

On a slightly dodgy note, I have taken somehow to looking at the local(ish) property auction listings and have somehow been formulating figures as to:

a) how I can afford to buy a property at auction, to do-up, when I'm skint;

b) how I can manage to turn a profit on said property when the market is well and truly *&%$£!.

p.s. Don't tell Barman about the last bit, he'll have a hissy fit.

p.p.s. Don't tell bank or anyone about the last bit, they'll have a hissy fit.

ttfn

Twas the night before...

...Christmas BVC results, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse (well, except for Barman who's watching the footy).
The lucky mascots were hung by the pc with care,
In hope that the pupillage fairy would soon be there.

Bar-Os was nestled all snug in his bed,
Whilst visions of being a 'barrister's ors' danced in his head.
And Barmaid in her kerchief and Barman in his cap (well, we are yokels),
Had just settled down for a Summertime nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Barmaid sprang from her bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window, she flew like a flash,
Tore open the IKEA curtains and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new fallen dew,
Gave a lustre like diamonds, such a beautiful hue.
When, what to her wondering eyes should appear,
Not the pupillage fairy, but hope, consternation, anticipation and fear.

There it was gone

That’s it then. I don’t think it’s quite sunk in yet.

Three lots of results to wait for – one in June, two in July.

After the Advanced Crime exam, I had a walk up to Ede and Ravenscroft and looked in the window. I will need to buy a shirt and bands for Call, but I’m not going to tempt fate and purchase them just yet. No harm in looking though.

 

The emotions were running a little high last week and on the train back home best friend rang and I’m ashamed to say that I sobbed. Not really sure why, but probably something to do with being tired. It was very embarrassing and I sat dabbing away tears and pretending to sneeze so that it looked like I had hay fever – I don’t think anyone on the crowded 5.30 was fooled!

Best wishes to everyone who has finished, or is about to finish BVC.

 

I wonder if we'll get any pupillage interviews?

7 days and counting

I can't quite believe it. Just one more week and that's it! I have a busy week ahead of me preparing for the Advanced Criminal Litigation exam.

There is a pot of paint at the ready for next week, when I might just get around to painting the front door, which was sanded down last Autumn, but somehow never got finished. I hope that front doors don't have feelings, as every time I look at it I mutter "bloody mess". I'm sure if front door could speak, it would utter something quite similar in return:-)

There's also a stack of folders in the corner of the dining room that need sorting out - BVC makes for a lot of paperwork. I think a bigger bookcase is required.

Details for Call arrived a few days ago, so I have to sort out gown hire etc. I must also get around to doing some more dining!

I took Bar-Os out for a ride today. When I brought him in from the paddock he had a big insect bite on his belly, so I couldn't put the saddle on him because the girth would have rubbed against the bite. I had to ride bareback and by the time I'd finished, my legs ached so much that I struggled to dismount. I think the Spring grass has expanded his waistline a tad! Either that or I'm getting old!

Good luck to everyone on their final push towards the finishing line. I think we all deserve a pat on the back, or perhaps some new shoes.

The Finishing Line(ish)

I'm on the last lot of SGS homework for BVC and it's taking ages. I should be far further on, but my brain has slowed down, somewhat prematurely, to a snail's pace.

This coming weekend is the last BVC study weekend, but I shall have to go back to 'school' towards the end of May for the Options exams. I'm hoping that my work rate speeds up a little for the last fortnight otherwise I shall be struggling.

I have mixed feelings about finishing BVC. On the one hand I'm more than ready for a break from study, on the other, I shall miss the friends that I've made during BVC and the camaraderie that exists within my group. Although I have mentioned this before, I cannot stress how lucky I've been to be part of a nice group. Various tutors along the way have said how nice my group was, but I took it all with a pinch of salt until witnessing at first hand the bitchiness and childish antics of some other groups. I don't suppose such behaviour has much effect on the written skills performance of a student, since most of it is completed away from class, but I'm almost certain that the effect on the oral skills could be quite dramatic. It's not that myself (and my group) haven't laughed at the faux pas of others, but the laughter is shared and open and without malice.

On a similar note, I had expected a good many of the barristers and judges that I have met during extra curricular activities to live up to the steriotypical Bar persona of arrogance and coldness. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sure, quite a few of the barristers have chips on their shoulders, but that goes with the territory, and it is all very much tongue in cheek. Once the ice has been quickly broken, I have been met with kindness, patience, understanding and warmth.

Post BVC, I have a few irons in the fire that may come to something, or may not. Time will tell? For now I want to complete my studies and catch up on some work and play (and decorating!). A proper Summer would be nice, with that big yellow thing in the sky smiling down, but maybe that's asking for too much. Oh, and I'd also like a pupillage please.

Not too much too ask, is it? :-)

Good Luck

Good Luck to all who are awaiting their BVC exam results today:-)

Pupillage Applications

Well, I've done 7 of em so far, 5 more OLPAS to go, plus the non-OLPAS applications.

I've set out my application details differently this year and eagerly await Chambers falling over themselves to invite me to interview (well, a girl can always dream:-)).

This month's homework is very much on the back burner and I haven't even looked at it yet - not even a little peep! My day job's been busy and what with the above applications, there's been no time for BVC. Just as well this is the last month.

So, I've got 4 Options classes to prepare for (2 classes for each Option) and then I have just 2 weeks to prepare for the final 2 exams. And then that's it!

What comes after that little lot? Your guess is as good as mine at the moment. My day job needs some tlc, as does the house, the garden, Barman, friends, relatives, paperwork...

And how embarassing for poor Bar-Os! He's told all of his mates down the field that he's 'a barrister's ors' in a VERY LOUD voice, DAILY, and now he may have to capitulate on his somewhat premature statement of (non) fact. Suppose we could always emigrate and save the poor lad the shame of it all. Either that, or I take to walking him down to the paddock in a wig and gown each morning, just to keep up the pretence for a while longer:-)

The Olpasiformia Nervosa has not yet re-appeared and I feel strangely unconcerned about the whole pupillage thing this time around. Last year I got a little bit OTT with it all, not least because of the lovely Midlands Chambers that rejected me a total of 38 times. Needless to say, I gave them a miss this year:-) My view this time is that I've done my best, so what's meant to be will be.

Having had a very busy time last Summer, I didn't really get a break. I had a lot of catching up to do on my day job, plus I made an early start on Civil and Criminal Litigation, so that I could manage my workload a bit better. In retrospect, I should have taken a couple of weeks off from both work and study, because by the time September came, I was washed out. Anyway, I kept myself going on a diet of self-pity, coffee and chocolate and here I am, half a stone heavier and nearly at the end of BVC.

Just one question remains. What am I going to do when I grow up?