Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Ooh 'eck, please don't tell anyone

You can keep a secret can't you?

I might as well come straight out with it.

Ooh but I can't.

It's just so embarrassing.

It's Bar-Os.

He's....  ooh 'eck, I don't quite know how to put it.

Well you know...

I went to the stable and he was er, well you know..

Oh dear, it's very shocking, here we go...

I caught him... wearing lipstick!!!

Please don't tell anyone.

To make matters worse, the colour doesn't suit him and he'd just slapped it on willy nilly. No lip brush, no nuffink, just bright red lips.

I don't know what to do - I mean at the rate he's getting through it. I can't afford to buy him Lancome and imagine a Bar-Os wearing Rimmel! What would the BSB think!

I have tried to reason with him, but he just stuck his tongue out at me, laughed and said I was an old fuddy duddy and needed to get wiv it innit.

Perhaps he'll grow out of it. Just in case he doesn't, can anyone recommend a decent make-up artist to give him a few lessons.

I would like to reassure readers that no horse was harmed during the making of this blog post, although the horse's mum did get gooey molasses block spat down her top. She intends to sue for something or another, but it's so long since she looked at a law book, she cannot remember anything remotely legal at all.

Sorry, it wasn't anything sensible, maybe next time:-)


Michael said...

I think you'll be receiving interest from the cosmetic industry soon re. the possibility of bar-os fronting a new series of adverts.

Wouldn't it be great if it finished with bar-os strutting about with him firing a sultry, backwards glance to camera saying, "because I'm worth it" ?


simply wondered said...

i'm afraid you will just have to love him for what he is.

Barmaid said...

Ooh Michael, a back shot of Bar-Os might not work - his bum's a tad large.

You're right SW, I shall embrace his diversity and buy him matching blusher.

Tulsa Divorce Lawyer said...

LOL :)

Michael said...

BM - my email has been flooded by comments from our good ol' friend Tulsa. Regard yourself as officially spammed, eh?

(Tulsa's given up leaving 'comments' for me - I delete each and every one!) :-)

Barmaid said...

Hi Michael,

Yes, I've had quite a few emails from Tulsa:-)

Tulsa Marriage Counseling said...

Loving it!!! :)

Oklahoma City Divorce Attorneys said...

Bar Maid you know how to have a good time :)

Tulsa House Cleaning said...

Wow that's very original! :)

Oklahoma City House Cleaners said...

:) barros will definitely get some offers from the comestic industry.

Tulsa Divorce Lawyers said...

BM - don't listen to Michael BM. He's just trying to get laid. :)