You can keep a secret can't you?
I might as well come straight out with it.
Ooh but I can't.
It's just so embarrassing.
He's.... ooh 'eck, I don't quite know how to put it.
Well you know...
I went to the stable and he was er, well you know..
Oh dear, it's very shocking, here we go...
I caught him... wearing lipstick!!!
Please don't tell anyone.
To make matters worse, the colour doesn't suit him and he'd just slapped it on willy nilly. No lip brush, no nuffink, just bright red lips.
I don't know what to do - I mean at the rate he's getting through it. I can't afford to buy him Lancome and imagine a Bar-Os wearing Rimmel! What would the BSB think!
I have tried to reason with him, but he just stuck his tongue out at me, laughed and said I was an old fuddy duddy and needed to get wiv it innit.
Perhaps he'll grow out of it. Just in case he doesn't, can anyone recommend a decent make-up artist to give him a few lessons.
I would like to reassure readers that no horse was harmed during the making of this blog post, although the horse's mum did get gooey molasses block spat down her top. She intends to sue for something or another, but it's so long since she looked at a law book, she cannot remember anything remotely legal at all.
Sorry, it wasn't anything sensible, maybe next time:-)
The thorny question of a child accuser giving evidence
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