Seemed like a good idea...

Best friend is getting married next week. The wedding has been organised on a shoe-string, so BF has set about being 'creative'. All the guests have to wear fancy dress, the theme being Hollywood movies. So far there are several Marilyn Monroe's, a Clint Eastwood, a Mary Poppins and muggins here is thinking of being Uma Thurman as she appeared in Pulp Fiction, with Barman as Vincent Vega/John Travolta.

It gets worse...

BF decided that the ladies are to do a dance routine. Ten of her favourite songs (all cheesy). I've just about cracked the first bit, but with nine left to master I'm in a panic, not least because my knees are creaking and my back aches:-) The Thriller section looks cool, but things go downhill fast and the Armand Van Helden section looks like something out of a very low budget porno. And as for the Footloose bit, it's a pitiful sight.

On a different note, I didn't hear back from the hoteliers regarding the fireworks, so following a very noisy firework display on Saturday night, I got in touch with Environmental Health. My previous dealings with the 'back of beyond' local authority haven't been at all worthwhile, so I fully expected a battle. I was pleasantly surprised! Having explained that Bar-Os has been poorly on several occasions and that the fireworks are but a stone's throw away from his stable and are terrifying him, the lady on the end of the phone said that a letter would be sent to the hotel forthwith and if things haven't improved in 28 days, I should get back in touch with the reference number provided and they will take matters further. I'm not holding my breath, but there's a glimmer of hope.

My parents haven't been so lucky with the local authority. Following a long running saga with the LA and a neighbour, over a previously unauthorised change of use of agricultural land to garden, the LA have granted retrospective planning consent, despite the neighbour's garden extension contravening much, if not all, of the region's policy on garden extensions. It looks as though the matter should have gone before the Planning Committee, but it didn't and was granted under delegated Planning Officer powers. As far as I know, the only avenue open to my parents is Judicial Review, and they just don't want the hassle and expense involved in the JR process. How frustrated I feel. Having spent 8 years studying law, there's nothing much I can do to help them. And even more annoying is the fact that some snotty woman at the LA wrote and told my parents that my carefully drafted letter was incorrect and Halsbury's Laws definition of 'agricultural land' was wrong.

Last Sunday I took Bar-Os on another trespassing expedition across a particularly large stubble field, got back home early evening, washed him down and sat in the garden supping coffee. Bar-Os was busy 'mowing' the garden (I know, but it's quite normal in the country, honest), when I saw a plume of thick, jet black smoke just over the hotel. There is a God thought I, then realised that the smoke was coming from further away, from the direction of my paddock! Barman went to investigate, only to find the Fire Brigade, many cars and several locals in situ. The locals had gone to rescue Bar-Os, bless em, not realising that he was munching away on my lawn (if you can call it that!), oblivious to all the fuss.

The owner of the field next to mine had decided to set fire to a couple of caravans which they used to use for storage. Following an early morning fright, when neighbour discovered half a dozen hungover teenagers squatting in one of the caravans, it was decided that the best thing to do was to get rid of them (the caravans that is:-)). Tell you what, looking at the large blackened area of grass where the fire took place, I reckon my neighbours got more than they bargained for when they struck the match.