The disease is called Olpasiformia Nervosa and I'm told it is quite infectious. Please be extra vigilant and immediately consult a medical practitioner or your local hopi ear candle specialist if you or anyone you know shows the following symptoms:
a) Incoherence - inability to talk calmly or sensibly about anything much at all;
b) Intolerance of other people's success, particularly in relation to barristerial matters;
c) Increased desire to drink coffee, eat chocolate and make funny noises (particularly *arghhhh buuuuuggger*);
d) Excessive typing at speed, only to be followed by the above funny noise and rapid deletion of typing;
e) General apathy and irritability followed by a desire to immediately switch the pc off at the wall (muttering "that'll teach you") and behave in a manner similar to that of a small child.
I know your thoughts are with me right now because I feel so much love in this room (or perhaps I just forgot to turn the heating down).
ttfn
6 comments:
My DEAR Maid,
(* Produces an ENORMOUS Bottle of Pudding Wine, Several Boxes of Chocolates, a Nice Blanket,a Soft Fluffy Pillow, Hot Water Bottle and a Teddy*)
My thoughts are with you at this TERRIBLE time! How else can I be of assistance to you, other than providing you with the above succour and the small SMALL comfort that Olpasformia is INDEED a CRUEL, insidious and highly INFECTIOUS Disease commonly spread through numerous visits to the websites of deeply DESIREABLE Chambers, thereby inducing such FEVER and Apoplexy as to induce all of the symptoms which you describe, symptoms which are often of sudden and deeply distressing onset and which affect many a happless Bar Aspirant at this time of the Year?
I cannot help but note,however that you are yet in the EARLY stages of this HORRID disease - the funny noise element has not yet descended to " Why, this F**KING App is nothing but a F**KING Piece of SH*T , which, I fear, will come to you very soon, if it hasn't done so already!
(*Wrings out tear sodden hankie*) You have to Fight, Maid, FIGHT, I tell you! Do NOT Go Gently into that Good Night which is Stargate! My thoughts are INDEED with you!!!!
Haha! I wish you a speedy recovery. I have had similar symptoms over the course of several years whilst studying law and applying for training contracts.
Unfortunately, I am currently experiencing these symptoms as you will see from my blog, especially symptom (a)
*Offers legal huggage and pattage on back*
BM, an inability to talk sensibly about anything at all. Reads to me as though you are doing just fine, and that your future career as a crim lit tutor is in the bag.
Ahh so thats what it is.
LM - you are so kind, I'm deeply touched (so everyone keeps telling me?). You will be pleased to hear that the hopi ear candles are helping, but what should I do by way of explanation of such an appendage at pupillage interview?
CBC - just as I feared, the disease has mutated into a variant form and is now attacking all forms of legal student. Neh mind, I shall add you to my blog roll, if worse comes to worse we shall have to form a self-help group.
BB - perhaps you are right, maybe my talents lie elsewhere, I was wondering about becoming a football pundit?
LG - not you as well? Dearie me, it's an epidemic.
"Intolerance of other people's success".
Gosh you've hit the nail on the head there haven't you! I was never particularly competitive at uni, knowing I had different aspirations to most people. You get to the BVC and all those people who have, or you know will have pupillage.
Bitterness is not an attractive trait, but I'm certainly guilty of that at times!
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