Thursday 19 March 2009

U is for unicameral


Unicameral - adj - of or characterised by one legislative chamber.

I've never heard of 'unicameral' before, but speaking of Chambers, isn't OLPAS wonderful. It let me in a few weeks ago to register, decided that I really wasn't their type and refused to let me back in again, so I had to start the registration process from scratch.

Having spent hours filling in my very first OLPAS application, I decided that it looked quite pathetic, but sent it anyway. There is something very depressing about filling in application forms and I firmly believe that we shouldn't do our own applications, but instead do someone else's as it's always easier to wax lyrical about another's attributes.

I received my first non-OLPAS rejection a few days ago, first of many I guess, but I will persevere.

The BVC homework this month is not being completed at any sort of speed or to any sort of satisfaction and I'm afraid that my initial BVC enthusiasm has waned to the point of zilch. Thank goodness that it will soon be time for the Summer break, I'm whacked and need a break from it all. It will also be nice to spend more time working 'proper' and to earn a few bob.

Bit of a mixed bag as what areas of law we are covering this month. I have to prepare a Conference plan for a sexual assault, Advocacy for a model who is refusing to cough up for her wedding because the Registrar called her by her 'real' name 'Maud' throughout the marriage ceremony, another lot of Advocacy for a contractual dispute involving a salt sculpture, an Opinion for a claim under Occupiers Liability concerning a petite woman who fell into an open grave and was stuck there until rescued some one and a half hours later, a Particulars of Claim involving a cowboy builder and a meddling DIY enthusiast and finally another lot of Drafting that I haven't even dared look at yet - beam me up Scotty.

I'm still waiting for the results to my first 2 assessments and as time has gone by, my expectations of doing ok have diminished somewhat to the point where I'm now resigned to failure.

You may be wondering what the picture at the top has to do with 'unicameral' or OLPAS or pissedoffitus, well nothing, but following on from Minxy's Lusty blogpost, our Mr Darcey is rather dashing don't you think?


12 comments:

Minx said...

My Dear Maid,

I'm totally with you as regards thge complettion of applications, and I wish I had a TENTH of your discipline when it comes to these matters and particularly with respect OLPI**ED (OFF); I am not a disciplined filler in of forms in any way, and find it complete agony, so this years 'bespoke' system is the straw that broke the camel's back for me, I'm afraid - its either all, or nothing at all.

However, you have Popped your Portal, so to speak, an occaision for a glass of something nice and spanglie, if ever there was one! I am sorry to hear of your first rejection, but hope that it isn't something that will in any way pull you down or deter you with respect to the BVC, because it is at this time of year that many part timers understandably feel at a bit of a low ebb, as enthusiasm wanes while the feeling that there is no end in sight grows, but Summer is just around the corner, and you will soon be able to tell Maud the Model that she is FAT, Send the Cowboy Builder and DIY Nutter to your Provider to Effect Repairs to the Library,Throw Water Over the Salt Sculpture, Give a Shovel to the Petite Lady and Tell her to Dig Her Way to Australia while putting a nice sausage-dog shaped Excluder around your remaining Draft!

Ps: While Mr Darcey is Undeniably V Gorge, I am, personally, pulled either in the direction of Mr Enrique Iglesias, or Mr Rupert Penry-Jones, depending on the degree of sunlight to which I have been exposed after a lengthy battle with the Thesis Monster in the bowels of the library at the Local Seat of Learning..... (Yum/Slobber/Drool/Lots of Naughty Words Debasing Opposite Sex as Froth Boast and Totty/Eye Candy, etc, etc)

Swiss Tony said...

BM, I think rejections are a badge of honour. I have all of mine pinned to my suit, and will be marching with the British Legion on Remembrance day.

You have all that homework to do, and I have one thing, make a list of 5 good things about criminal law.

I think I would rather do your homework!

Keep on truckin.

Swizzle

Barmaid said...

Minxy, 'popped my portal', I like that, it sounds like an illness, some sort of barristerial hernia perhaps?

As for something sparkly to celebrate, I'm afraid it's diet time for me, my jeans are saying "oh come on, we know we contain stretchy lycra, but this is ridiculous".
I've had Special K for lunch, a glass of cranberry juice and have just cycled 4 miles, it won't last, my legs were very shakey when I dismounted and it's all very boring, even though this is day one of diet:-)

Swizzle - just 5 good things about Crim eh? I'd have thought you'd have got that sorted in 5 mins flat:
1) blonde defence counsel in wig and gown;
2) blonde prosecution counsel in wig and gown;
3) brunette...

Swiss Tony said...

BM, sorry, your list falls down on item 3. Brunette just doesn't work. See, its harder than it first appears.

3. Blonde judge? No, they are grey.

3.... Stumped.

Ah, defendent, AND witness both blonde. That takes it to just thinking of the last one!

Swizzle.

ps Security word is 'Scritess' Whats that then oh BM, wordsmith extrordinaire?

barboy said...

BM, sorry to hear you are still suffering from couldntgiveatossitis. Notwithstanding, I feel I speak on behalf of all male bloggers, when I say this objectification of male actors as sex objects is offensive and demeaning. Although, crikey, that bloke out of Spooks with the large neck and weirdly small head. Obviously, LM isn't fussy.

Swiss is fibbing about his homework. He also has to write a story about what he did in the summer holidays.

Barmaid said...

Well BB, if Swiss has to write a story concerning his antics over the Summer hols, it may well lead to an explanation as to how he ended up with the 'Scritess' in the first place. I'm told Benzyl Benzoate treats the affliction.

Minx said...

My Dear BB,

Given that I stand accused of the Objectification of Male Blogging Totty, do not in any way be surprised if I sidle up to cop a virtual feel of your Peachlike Virtual Backside.......

(and Rupert PJ Does NOT have a small bonce - unless of course you have seen him wearing a Barristers Wig, which has the instantaneous effect of shrinking it.....!!)

Anonymous said...

bpp then barmaid!

Barmaid said...

SW - yup afraid so, that's why I'm a sad git sat at my p.c. on a Friday evening, whilst all the CLS and CoL students are out on the lash:-(

HOW MUCH HOMEWORK!!!!!

Anonymous said...

i don't think on the FT we get any more than other colleges. what they do seem to do is pile it up - here in ft land we had neg assessment this week and opinion and drafting next week! add your mooting and it's quite a workload. i suppose it's worse for me as i am doing some work of my own (2 kids to feed) and volunteer weekly at a law centre where i just happen to have a 300pg bundle case all to myself right now(nice but plenty of work.
at least we get taught to write a skeleton, whereas it appears from my mooting experience that at CoL they just stick a few thoughts on a bit of paper. meeow - but the CoL skellies i've seen have been appalling.
and of course, at bpp there is the 5th floor bvc lounge! teaches us not to mingle with solicitors; surely the critical job skill!

Barmaid said...

Ah the fifth floor, must admit we part timers are quite childish about the BVC common room, even though on a weekend there aren't exactly millions of LPCers knocking about the rest of the place anyway.

On the P.T. course we have roughly one assessment per month, from now until we finish, with a mock scattered here there and everywhere.

From what I gather the part-timers at CoL have a much lighter workload on the P.T. course to date, but maybe theirs will ramp up next year?

Would be interested to hear your thoughts on the BPP course, seeing as the end is nigh for you.

barboy said...

Zen Dawg, it would certainly be interesting to read your views. Don't be shy. You know you want to.