Pupillage Applications

Well, I've done 7 of em so far, 5 more OLPAS to go, plus the non-OLPAS applications.

I've set out my application details differently this year and eagerly await Chambers falling over themselves to invite me to interview (well, a girl can always dream:-)).

This month's homework is very much on the back burner and I haven't even looked at it yet - not even a little peep! My day job's been busy and what with the above applications, there's been no time for BVC. Just as well this is the last month.

So, I've got 4 Options classes to prepare for (2 classes for each Option) and then I have just 2 weeks to prepare for the final 2 exams. And then that's it!

What comes after that little lot? Your guess is as good as mine at the moment. My day job needs some tlc, as does the house, the garden, Barman, friends, relatives, paperwork...

And how embarassing for poor Bar-Os! He's told all of his mates down the field that he's 'a barrister's ors' in a VERY LOUD voice, DAILY, and now he may have to capitulate on his somewhat premature statement of (non) fact. Suppose we could always emigrate and save the poor lad the shame of it all. Either that, or I take to walking him down to the paddock in a wig and gown each morning, just to keep up the pretence for a while longer:-)

The Olpasiformia Nervosa has not yet re-appeared and I feel strangely unconcerned about the whole pupillage thing this time around. Last year I got a little bit OTT with it all, not least because of the lovely Midlands Chambers that rejected me a total of 38 times. Needless to say, I gave them a miss this year:-) My view this time is that I've done my best, so what's meant to be will be.

Having had a very busy time last Summer, I didn't really get a break. I had a lot of catching up to do on my day job, plus I made an early start on Civil and Criminal Litigation, so that I could manage my workload a bit better. In retrospect, I should have taken a couple of weeks off from both work and study, because by the time September came, I was washed out. Anyway, I kept myself going on a diet of self-pity, coffee and chocolate and here I am, half a stone heavier and nearly at the end of BVC.

Just one question remains. What am I going to do when I grow up?

How was it for you?

Dear PP,

I fear that it has all been a waste of time somehow and nothing will come of it.

I've given it my best shot, tried to say meaningful things and be to honest and interesting, but alas, I fear that we have no future together.

When we first got together I was number 5 on your list, but within the space of a few weeks I'm now number 10'772, this makes me feel quite insignificant.

To make matters worse, I tried to open up a dialogue with you this morning for a last ditch attempt and you refused to let me in and pretended not to know me. You are a cad and a bounder. You entice people in with your pretty facade, demand considerable time and effort from them, but offer little in return. You know you were my first - you took my innocence and popped my portal, but it seems to mean nothing to you.

Anyway, all my mates think you have a stupid name and most of them say that you have changed since last year.

I will leave you to ponder on all that I have said in the past and hope that you will realise in time, that I'm not such a bad old stick after all.

Barmaid xxx

I've got an illness

ust when I need to be on top form, it seems that I have been struck down with an ailment that has side effects of such severity, only time will tell whether or not I will make a full recovery.

The disease is called Olpasiformia Nervosa and I'm told it is quite infectious. Please be extra vigilant and immediately consult a medical practitioner or your local hopi ear candle specialist if you or anyone you know shows the following symptoms:

a) Incoherence - inability to talk calmly or sensibly about anything much at all;

b) Intolerance of other people's success, particularly in relation to barristerial matters;

c) Increased desire to drink coffee, eat chocolate and make funny noises (particularly *arghhhh buuuuuggger*);

d) Excessive typing at speed, only to be followed by the above funny noise and rapid deletion of typing;

e) General apathy and irritability followed by a desire to immediately switch the pc off at the wall (muttering "that'll teach you") and behave in a manner similar to that of a small child.

I know your thoughts are with me right now because I feel so much love in this room (or perhaps I just forgot to turn the heating down).

ttfn

x is for xeric

xeric - adj - devoid of moisture.

Put the kettle on petal, I'm xeric.

I know, but there's not much to choose from when it comes to the letter x unless you fancied a chemistry lesson.

I have spent hours trying to formulate a decent OLPAS application, but it's not the easiest task and the questions make me feel awkward. Some of the questions require similar answers and I feel that I've more or less duplicated certain information in parts. To date I have completed just 4 applications and need to get cracking this weekend with a few more, but I'm far from pleased with my efforts to date. What worries me most is the lack of certain extra-curricular activities such as mooting. I'm at a distinct disadvantage in that I have to work to earn money to pay the mortgage etc. and as such I just don't have the spare time to do things that perhaps more privileged or younger students have time to do. And of course living in the back of beyond doesn't help because I can't just nip out for an hour or two to do some extra curricular stuff in the evening. I guess I'm my own worst critic in some ways and the OLPAS thing just tends to make me feel quite inadequate.

To make matters worse, Swiss Tony, greedy boy that he is, has swiped all the lemon, orange AND lime OLPAS fruits, so I'm just left with strawberry. He's just showing off because he's already done negotiation at his school and I have yet to do any at mine, so I ended up with a raw deal. Oh well, I shall just have to be content in the knowledge that his teeth will drop out before mine, can't wait to see the look on the pupillage panel's faces when he gives them his 'winning smile':-)

V is for Virago

Virago - n - a loud, violent, and ill tempered woman.

A cannot for the life of me think of anyone who I could describe as a virago, perhaps Barman knows someone who fits the description:-)

Well, I'm just about there with this month's homework and must admit that I've found it all quite tedious. I desperately need to practise my advocacy, which I decided yesterday was a load of jumbled rubbish, so I hastily re-worked my skeleton to give it a better flow. An application for an interim payment isn't the most exciting thing to be doing and because it's so dull, I'm finding it impossible to inject any passion into it. I'm sure that in real life it's quite different and has more excitement, but this scenario has an air of silliness about it, which makes it all quite difficult to take seriously.

I get my Legal Research results next week, just before the study weekend, so I'm quite nervous about it, particularly as it's my first BVC assessment result. I'm unsure, but seem to think that I will also receive my civil/criminal MCT results at the same time. On second thoughts, perhaps I do know someone who is a virago!

OLPAS has been ignored for a few days because it is such a tedious task and I find the whole process a bit strange. Having worked for myself for many years, it is quite difficult for me to get to grips with what is basically an application for a job. Oh well, they will either like me or they won't and there is not a deal I can do about that one, but I do keep imagining the perplexed look on the pupillage committee's faces when they get to my application:-) I did wonder about the questionnaire section that asks whether the applicant is: gay, straight, single etc., perhaps if I tick the 'other, please specify' box and then write 'I'll be whatever you want me to be', maybe this will do the trick and clinch me that precious interview? What the hell is 'other' anyway? If you are not straight, gay, bi-sexual, single or married, what else can you be? Cliff Richard perhaps? Perhaps I should put 'hermaphrodite', perhaps not, Chambers might tell me to go f**k myself by way of a polite response to my application.

U is for unicameral

Unicameral - adj - of or characterised by one legislative chamber.

I've never heard of 'unicameral' before, but speaking of Chambers, isn't OLPAS wonderful. It let me in a few weeks ago to register, decided that I really wasn't their type and refused to let me back in again, so I had to start the registration process from scratch.

Having spent hours filling in my very first OLPAS application, I decided that it looked quite pathetic, but sent it anyway. There is something very depressing about filling in application forms and I firmly believe that we shouldn't do our own applications, but instead do someone else's as it's always easier to wax lyrical about another's attributes.

I received my first non-OLPAS rejection a few days ago, first of many I guess, but I will persevere.

The BVC homework this month is not being completed at any sort of speed or to any sort of satisfaction and I'm afraid that my initial BVC enthusiasm has waned to the point of zilch. Thank goodness that it will soon be time for the Summer break, I'm whacked and need a break from it all. It will also be nice to spend more time working 'proper' and to earn a few bob.

Bit of a mixed bag as what areas of law we are covering this month. I have to prepare a Conference plan for a sexual assault, Advocacy for a model who is refusing to cough up for her wedding because the Registrar called her by her 'real' name 'Maud' throughout the marriage ceremony, another lot of Advocacy for a contractual dispute involving a salt sculpture, an Opinion for a claim under Occupiers Liability concerning a petite woman who fell into an open grave and was stuck there until rescued some one and a half hours later, a Particulars of Claim involving a cowboy builder and a meddling DIY enthusiast and finally another lot of Drafting that I haven't even dared look at yet - beam me up Scotty.

I'm still waiting for the results to my first 2 assessments and as time has gone by, my expectations of doing ok have diminished somewhat to the point where I'm now resigned to failure.

You may be wondering what the picture at the top has to do with 'unicameral' or OLPAS or pissedoffitus, well nothing, but following on from Minxy's Lusty blogpost, our Mr Darcey is rather dashing don't you think?