The Finishing Line(ish)

I'm on the last lot of SGS homework for BVC and it's taking ages. I should be far further on, but my brain has slowed down, somewhat prematurely, to a snail's pace.

This coming weekend is the last BVC study weekend, but I shall have to go back to 'school' towards the end of May for the Options exams. I'm hoping that my work rate speeds up a little for the last fortnight otherwise I shall be struggling.

I have mixed feelings about finishing BVC. On the one hand I'm more than ready for a break from study, on the other, I shall miss the friends that I've made during BVC and the camaraderie that exists within my group. Although I have mentioned this before, I cannot stress how lucky I've been to be part of a nice group. Various tutors along the way have said how nice my group was, but I took it all with a pinch of salt until witnessing at first hand the bitchiness and childish antics of some other groups. I don't suppose such behaviour has much effect on the written skills performance of a student, since most of it is completed away from class, but I'm almost certain that the effect on the oral skills could be quite dramatic. It's not that myself (and my group) haven't laughed at the faux pas of others, but the laughter is shared and open and without malice.

On a similar note, I had expected a good many of the barristers and judges that I have met during extra curricular activities to live up to the steriotypical Bar persona of arrogance and coldness. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sure, quite a few of the barristers have chips on their shoulders, but that goes with the territory, and it is all very much tongue in cheek. Once the ice has been quickly broken, I have been met with kindness, patience, understanding and warmth.

Post BVC, I have a few irons in the fire that may come to something, or may not. Time will tell? For now I want to complete my studies and catch up on some work and play (and decorating!). A proper Summer would be nice, with that big yellow thing in the sky smiling down, but maybe that's asking for too much. Oh, and I'd also like a pupillage please.

Not too much too ask, is it? :-)

Last Minute Jitters

I have spent this week convincing myself that provider would cancel the MCT exam (due to the bad weather). However, it has not been cancelled and in but a few hours I have the unenviable task of facing a 3 hour exam, 80 multiple choice questions (79 guesses), followed by a review of my Opinion Writing mock. Oh and also a 2 hour advocacy class.

Mock Negotiation exam is on Sunday (in which I will have to negotiate with a 'proper' barrister, rather than a classmate), along with a review of my Drafting mock and another advocacy class.

Most importantly of all, I remembered to buy lots of sweeties to munch through during the MCT, so all I need to do now is remember which room to go to for the exam, my pencils, purse, I.D., oh and the small matter of hearsay, bad character, indictments, juries, youth sentencing, appeals, track allocation, part 36 payments, more appeals, enforcement of court orders, sanctions, disclosure, witness statements, depositions, privilege(s), more appeals, ADR...

I may be gone some time:-)

Last minute dash

Finally finished the [insert swearword of choice] mock Opinion. As I somewhat smuggly printed off said [insert previous swearword or another one of your choice] Opinion, I took the chance to have a quick glance at my emails and smugness evaporated as quickly as it had appeared. Provider has just informed me that we have 3 exams next month: 2 advocacy (1 x examination-in-chief, 1 x cross-examination) and drafting.

Ok, so they are all mocks, but nevertheless it came as a bit of a shock to the system and I [inserted a swearword, well ok, I inserted several swearwords, not particularly chosen because they were my favourites, but just picked at random as the occasion befitted].

There is a study weekend looming and I haven't yet finished the homework, the house is a tip, I've got stacks of washing, stacks of paperwork and need to go food shopping.

Am I bovvered? Not really. Having more or less recovered from the Olpasiformia Nervosa, I seem to have taken on a more pragmatic view of life and intend to not let the bastards grind me down take things a little more in their stride.

ttfn

Plenty of Room for Improvement

Bit of a turn up for the books really. BVC is never predictable and that rule was pretty much demonstrated last weekend.

Having had my first stab at examination-in-chief and cross-examination, it would appear that I am at present equally crap in both of the required arts. Tutor's blood pressure was dangerously high as he attempted to hammer home gently guide me through the subtle process of controlling the witness and getting from them what you want. The dvd of my performance is worthy of an Oscar nomination, not least for the petulant look on my face whilst being screamed at told "NO, NO, NO, HOW MANY MORE TIMES TO I HAVE TO TELL YOU...?".    Answers on a postcard please:-)

Hearsay was a shambles and it is definitely a subject that I have got to revisit (yet again) at some point before the MCT, otherwise I shall be very lucky to pass.

Negotiation was a turn up for the books and I did well, despite this being my most feared subject to date.

Drafting was informative, but also a little daunting. Civil was, as expected, civilised.

Today I'm having a look over my mock exam paper for Opinion Writing. Mmm it's going to be very tricky to do and will require plenty of preparation and planning, which tbh aren't exactly favourite pastimes of mine, as I much prefer to wade in feet first.

So, it would appear that I shall be a criminal barrister who can do bail applications, submissions of no case to answer, pleas in mitigation, but cannot examine any witnesses or do any cases in which hearsay crops up.

Apart from that, everything is going exactly to plan!

Onwards and upwards eh:-)

Hearsay Revisited

I couldn't put it off any longer, so finally sat down for 2 days and steadily read through the hearsay stuff. No excuses, mostly perfect peace and quiet, coffee on tap, concentration on full tilt. Deciding to read Keane for starters, then after 5 pages abandoning that idea for 60 pages of another author's writings that were recommended to me by 'Lost'. I actually enjoyed reading those 60 pages, felt that I understood a fair amount of what was written, so I confidently went back to the homework questions, carefully perused them for several hours, comparing what was asked with what I'd read, gave that up as a bad job and guessed the bloody lot! Oh dear, it would appear that moi is thick!

With another study weekend on the horizon, I'm going to be lucky if I get all the homework completed, I just seem to be on a go-slow at the moment, but at least I managed to finish the Negotiation plan a few days ago. Having only had one lesson on that subject so far, I have already decided that I dislike it intensely, which is quite odd as I enjoyed Conference and the two subjects are fairly similar.

I have prepared notes for the 2 advocacy lessons - 1 for examination-in-chief, the other for cross-examination, but may go back and re-do the XIC as in hindsight it is a load of rubbish.

I'm hoping to do some marshalling before Christmas, although I don't quite know how I will find the time what with work and all that, but it is a much needed experience and one that others have recommended to me. I have asked to do something civil, in an attempt to steer myself away from the criminal bar, but somehow I think that old habits die hard and the criminal bar is where my heart lies. But you never know, I might just have a eureka moment and finally fall hopelessly in love with exemption clauses in contract claims!

Having had zero success with OLPAS this year, I have decided to put pupillage applications on the back burner for a while and will try some non-OLPAS apps next year, once I have gotten boss-side of BVC. For now I need to try and concentrate on study and work and worry about pupillage another time.

It is lovely having Bar-Os home, particularly as his time away was only meant to be for a month or so, but finished up far longer due to him being poorly. Thankfully he seems to be fully recovered, but has poorly heels where the flies have bitten him relentlessly. Most horses have black skin, but his is white and very sensitive, so he does tend to suffer with skin problems. He is extremely impatient in a morning and looks very annoyed at the fact that breakfast is never served on time, and then he has to wait at least 5 minutes before being taken out to the paddock. I wonder what his last slave died of?

Yesterday I ran out of apples for Bar-Os and climbed over the back to scrump some apples from an orchard that adjoins my garden. My heart was racing as I quickly picked a dozen or so fruit, convinced that the dirty deed would put an end to my aspirations of becoming a barrister and that I would find myself in the dock, branded nothing more than a common thief.

I'm not a big fan of the tv, as I always seem to end up studying on an evening, but this week I have been watching Criminal Justice and have quite enjoyed it. Just a pity that the tasty barrister got killed off so soon. Not sure that the barrister's clerk had an entirely healthy attitude to his 'master' - bit too incestuous for me.

Normal(ish) Service is Resumed

This was the look on Cyril's face when I told him that he was in fact munching on his Uncle Cedric, who had been 'bagged' and dispensed into a packet of Walkers Cajun Squirrel Crisps.

It's back to BVC for me tomorrow and my tired little brain is not looking forward to the forthcoming cerebral gymnastics. Oh well, having both enjoyed and endured (in varying degrees) my 7 years of law studies to date, this year I hope will be the final push towards getting a pupillage, or if not, well, we'll just have to decide what Plan B really is.

If only I could muster up at least a little enthusiasm!

For some reason spell check has vanished from my blog toolbar, so I apologise in advance for my dreadful spelling.

7 Days and Counting

Back to school next week:-(

Today Barman bought me a nice new jotter, a proper grown up one with coloured tabs, no excuses now for being totally disorganised and untidy *cough*.

It is quite amusing to look through last year's jotter and see relatively neat, orderly writing, followed by an ever decreasing scrawly mess as the academic year progressed.

Drafting is one of my favourite subjects, but having not done any for a few months, I'd completely forgotten how to do it and had put off doing the homework until yesterday. Thankfully the thinking about it was much worse than the reality of doing it and I managed to get the work done in a couple of hours. I've still got the counterclaim (of a defence and counterclaim) to do, but I think that it'll be ok?

I've had the timetable through for next year and we have a change of tutor for all of the subjects. There is one tutor who has an excellent reputation for his advocacy tuition and my small group has him for the most of year two. Best of all, my favourite tutor (who we only had on the odd occasion) is teaching my group Opinion Writing and Drafting. If I don't go into airhead mode, I stand a chance of doing ok in the written skills, but I can be very blinkered at times and miss out the most obvious points!

Most of the home work is done (in a fashion), but I need a couple of days to tidy it all up. I'm hoping to grab one or two days next week to have a break. Having worked and studied through the Summer hols, I'm shattered and am in need of some shoe shopping.

p.s. this is my 100th blog post and I've still got readers! Must be a hell of a lot of insomniacs out there!

Don't Panic Captain Mainwaring

In a month's time I will be back at school and the enormity of the Summer homework schedule has just sunk in. I've been ploughing through some Civil Litigation and Criminal Litigation homework, but there's just so much left to do. I have an Opinion to do, a Writing Skills workbook to fill in, some Drafting homework, preparation for the start of the Negotiation module and also preparation for the commencement of the Examination-in-Chief element of Advocacy (which I know nothing about at all). Oh, and I must also find time to spend a day in court and prepare a written report on the case. None of it looks easy, most of the subject matter is new, so I'll need to spend time researching unfamiliar areas of law.

Back in June it all looked achievable, but now in mid-August it's not going quite as planned.

Crikey! 8 exams, countless mocks, options, homework, revision for MCT...

One day I'll laugh about all of this, but right now I need chocolate.

Back in the saddle

Bar-Os has not been mentioned for ages, mostly due to the fact that he has been unwell. He had a couple of months off over the Winter whilst I was busy with BVC and he's also had a cough since March that started off badly and has slowly improved. There were no other symptoms of illness, no loss of appetite (that'll be the day!), no raised temperature, just an awkward raspy cough that has resulted in my being unable to ride him. The vet has seen him on occasions and recommended that he be rested until better. In the meantime, Bar-Os has somewhat prematurely decided that he has given up work as a bad job and has been a bit of a handful to say the least. Usually a steady sort of chap, he's decided somewhere along the line (during his hols) that he's a speed merchant and tomorrow I have the unenviable task of taking him out for ride. The thing is, when he's a bit miffed he likes to do 'Irish dancing', he sort of doesn't go anywhere much, but dances on the spot very quickly, all four legs going like bees wings. A gentle squeeze to coax him forward usually results in a 'how very dare you' response and a tantrum. Tomorrow, my main objective is to sit quietly in the saddle, ignore the laughing from Barman and to elegantly and gracefully walk out of the yard into the countryside - a picture of 'oneness' with my horse - yeh right ok, I'll settle for staying on board for the duration and looking like a rag doll at the end of it, but still astride.

I'm already back in the saddle, so to speak, with the BVC. In fact due to pupillage applications and also researching a complex legal issue for a relative involving Lawful Development Certificates, I've not had much of a break and my 'day job' has also been keeping me busy too. Today I'm catching up on paperwork, interspersed with the delights of learning all about Part 36 Offers. I'm sure that they are probably quite easy to understand in practice, but sat reading all about them is a little baffling to say the least.

The days seem to be flying past and I've much to do before I go back to 'school' in September. All efforts to improve my bank balance have so far failed and I can't believe how impecunious I am. This I feel is because of the multi-tasking required when studying part-time, and the way that it impacts upon working life, everything gets a little neglected.

Having only sat 4 exams this year, I admit to feeling quite apprehensive about next year and the 8 remaining Bar exams, which I suppose is what has prompted me into an early resumption of studies. One thing is for sure, I will be extremely pleased to get next year over and done with and to finally complete BVC. Not that I haven't enjoyed most of it, but it is an extremely stressful existence and it demands a great deal of time and effort. Electives keep springing to mind, and as of yet I'm completely undecided what 2 subjects to choose. Nothing has been mentioned about them to date, so I'm assuming that we will receive some guidance on them before we choose. I'm thinking that Judicial Review will be quite useful because of my subject interests in environmental and quasi criminal law. Perhaps the Advanced Criminal Litigation module too? Would those of you who have already completed BVC care to tell what you liked/didn't like about your electives?

Half Time Submission

Some readers will be starting BVC this Autumn and perhaps some readers are contemplating BVC at some point in the future. I thought that it might be of interest for me to provide aspirants with a short(ish) perspective on how BVC has panned out so far and what my take on the course is. Of course there will be others who perhaps won't share my views and I hope that they too will offer their views of BVC in my blog's comments section. For those of you who may be concerned about your identity being revealed, there is an anonymous option provided when posting a comment and I don't have sight of anyone's email address, so your privacy is protected.

Where do I start? Well, I know that I was pretty uptight about BVC prior to starting the course, not least because there wasn't really that much information that meant anything sensible to the uninitiated. I trawled the web looking for information and stumbled across a few blogs that gave a glimpse of BVC, but many of my worries/questions were not quelled/answered. Having studied LLB part-time, in a group where all of the other students were taking the LPC route, I was out on a limb regarding any sort of meaningful conversation/information about Bar School. I purchased 'Bewigged and Bewildered' and recommend the book for anyone contemplating BVC. It's a pity that Law Minx's blog was hi-jacked last year because many of her earlier posts provided an insight into the BVC, but as far as I know (and I'm sure LM herself will correct me if I'm wrong), the early stuff was lost when the blog was kidnapped.

First of all, it is a very popular myth that BVC is some sort of a joke course. I was under the impression before commencing BVC, that merely showing my face now and then would be adequate in fulfilling the requirements of BVC. My experience to date (and I have no reason to suspect that things will alter next year) is that BVC is a very demanding course. Any pre-conceptions that I held were quickly blown out of the water, once BVC started. My provider threw us in at the deep end and the monthly reading list approached 1000 pages and my 20 hours per week study time was quickly expanded to almost double that. I remember only too vividly my despair around Christmas time, when everything seemed to overwhelm me and the studying mixed in with work and family was relentless (although I did manage to have Christmas day off!).

It all sounds very doom and gloom so far, but I don't really intend to cast that sort of picture. BVC is an extremely expensive course and I for one would have been very disappointed had the course lacked intensity and content. I dare say that a student can get away with, to a certain extent, not doing much work, but it is a risky business and based on the failure figures for the Criminal Litigation exam (approx one third of students failed), I for one am pleased that I took the course seriously and put the work in. It should be borne in mind that I'm part-time and as such my experiences will differ somewhat to the full-timers. I will now try and paint a picture of the BVC modules that I have studied so far:

Criminal Litigation

There is a lot of reading and a lot to digest. I'm sure that I've already forgotten most of it, but naturally evidence plays a big part, along with sentencing and PACE. Either-way offences are a popular topic, no doubt because they form the bread and butter of a fledgling criminal barrister's workload. Criminal Litigation must be taken seriously because a BVC student will rely on it in other modules too, particularly Conference and Advocacy. My provider provided Blackstone's, Archbold and Archbold Magistrates Guide for this module, but perhaps other providers differ. We weren't provided with the ICSL Crim Lit manual and I bought one, but it should be perused with care because some of the provisions contained in it are not yet in force, I have more or less abandoned the manual because I messed up one month's homework relying on it.

Civil Litigation

Much of what is studied is contained within the White Book and seeing as the tome is relatively modern, it's fairly easy to comprehend, however the sheer volume of information that needs to be remembered at exam time makes this module quite demanding, not least because there are a lot of timescales to learn. It is quite boring at times, but again it needs to be learnt because you will refer to the Civil Procedure Rules in Advocacy classes. The subtleties of Civil Litigation can catch one out if not careful - some of the rules are discretionary, others mandatory and it is easy to confuse the two.

Legal Research

What can I say? It is a pig of a module, very time consuming and there are no shortcuts. I believe that it is being dropped from the BVC syllabus, which is a great shame as I firmly believe that others should suffer as I did:-) But seriously, I thought that I already knew how to do Legal Research when I started BVC because it was part of my LLB course, was I in for a surprise. It is the most useful module that I have learnt to date and its rumoured demise is IMO a mistake. Take Legal Research for granted at your peril, you will need to be on the ball with the latest legislation in other BVC modules.

Conference

I really enjoyed this module, but some students hate it. Essentially Conference is interviewing a client. A relaxed, personable outer self is needed, combined with sharpness of mind to glean any snippets of information that may turn a case/defence on its head. My provider expects a fair amount of paperwork to go with the oral skills. A Conference Plan outlines the areas of questioning, followed by an analysis of the law in relation to liability/culpability, remedies/sentencing. Conference requires good inter-personal skills, combined with a decent knowledge of the law. Whether or not I have the said skills remains to be seen because I haven't received my exam result yet. Negotiation is also a separate BVC module, but I don't start Negotiation until this Autumn, so am at present unable to comment on its content.

Advocacy

For me, this has been the most disappointing module. It is such an important skill, but we part-timers are meant to learn it by some sort of long distance, subliminal process. In real terms we get less than 15 minutes per student, per month, to make our submissions and be marked on the said submission. Each month we make different submissions - eg. one month a bail application, next month an interim injunction application etc.. I had anticipated that a great deal more guidance and time would be spent on teaching Advocacy. In all fairness, from what I gather this criticism spans all of the providers, so it is an area that needs improvement and no, I don't think that we should be trying to teach ourselves the Art, BVC is expensive, we deserve to be taught this module thoroughly. I should add that this is not a criticism of the Advocacy tutors, merely that there isn't enough time spent on it. Perhaps the full time students get a fairer time allocation for their Advocacy?

Opinion Writing

This module requires a meticulous approach to law. An Opinion is basically a written document, often requested prior to litigation, that sets out the law in relation to the Claimant's/Defendant's case. The merits and pitfalls of any potential proceedings are set out, along with advice on remedies available (such as quantum). I'm not going to go any further on this topic as I don't at this point consider myself fully informed on Opinion Writing, much of the teaching of this module commences in year 2.

Drafting

I had no idea that barristers had to draft documents before I started BVC, I assumed that the judge did all of that. I approached this module with extreme fear, but I really like Drafting. It is probably one of the most difficult modules, but extremely rewarding. As with Opinion Writing, I'm only part way through this module, so cannot offer a fully informed insight, however I imagine that Drafting skills/exam results will be based on how good the tutor is, as it requires a very clear and methodical style of teaching, accompanied with the patience of a Saint.

I haven't chosen any electives yet, they form part of year 2, so I cannot offer any guidance on them.

Most importantly, I can truly say, that never have I learnt so much in such a relatively short space of time. BVC has stretched my mind beyond what I thought it capable of, whether that newly learned knowledge is of any use or not remains to be seen, but it's been one hell of an experience getting this far.

If I can offer one BVC tip, try to get along with your classmates, build trusting relationships and share your worries with them, if they are worth their salt, they will support you and help you. If they turn their back on you, wipe the floor with them during Advocacy, it's very satisfying:-)

Revelation

Last Christmas I bought myself a book from Amazon without actually looking at what it was about (I was buying books for everyone else and added one for myself as an afterthought). I just chose the side-bar option for crime/thriller and picked the book with a high reader ranking. Imagine my shock when opening the book and reading the words:

'The high chandeliers of Lincoln's Inn were ablaze with candles, for it was late afternoon when the play began. Most members of Lincoln's Inn were present, the barristers in their robes...'

Unfortunately the demands of BVC meant that I didn't get a chance to read the book until earlier this week. It's set in 1543 and tells the story of Matthew Shardlake, a barrister who becomes involved in the hunt for a serial killer. If you are looking for a good book to disappear into, I recommend C.J. Sansom's 'Revelation'.

In a week's time year 1 of BVC will be over, I have the first of 3 Advocacy assessments next week and need to knuckle down and get myself sorted. As far as I'm aware, we have a long wait for the results which aren't released until mid-July, along with the Conference results. All in all it's been a tough year and I suspect next year will be equally, if not more demanding because year 2 contains the bulk of the 12 BVC assessments. The thought of another Civil/Criminal Litigation exam fills me with dread, so much information to try and memorise in such a short space of time. The remaining exams include Negotiation (which we haven't started yet), Drafting, Opinion Writing, 2 more Advocacy, 2 x electives and the aforementioned Civil/Criminal MCT.

Oh well, no-one said it would be easy - well actually they did, they must've been having a laugh.

Y is for Yokel

Yokel -n (disparaging) - a person who lives in the country, esp. one who appears simple and old fashioned.

What can I say, guilty as charged:-)

Today I should be putting the finishing touches to my skeleton argument, today I have done nothing of any use so far and having taken a look at the skellie, it's not so much a matter of finishing touches, but a complete overhaul that is required. Oh well, I guess somewhere along the line I'll get the hang of them.

x is for xeric

xeric - adj - devoid of moisture.

Put the kettle on petal, I'm xeric.

I know, but there's not much to choose from when it comes to the letter x unless you fancied a chemistry lesson.

I have spent hours trying to formulate a decent OLPAS application, but it's not the easiest task and the questions make me feel awkward. Some of the questions require similar answers and I feel that I've more or less duplicated certain information in parts. To date I have completed just 4 applications and need to get cracking this weekend with a few more, but I'm far from pleased with my efforts to date. What worries me most is the lack of certain extra-curricular activities such as mooting. I'm at a distinct disadvantage in that I have to work to earn money to pay the mortgage etc. and as such I just don't have the spare time to do things that perhaps more privileged or younger students have time to do. And of course living in the back of beyond doesn't help because I can't just nip out for an hour or two to do some extra curricular stuff in the evening. I guess I'm my own worst critic in some ways and the OLPAS thing just tends to make me feel quite inadequate.

To make matters worse, Swiss Tony, greedy boy that he is, has swiped all the lemon, orange AND lime OLPAS fruits, so I'm just left with strawberry. He's just showing off because he's already done negotiation at his school and I have yet to do any at mine, so I ended up with a raw deal. Oh well, I shall just have to be content in the knowledge that his teeth will drop out before mine, can't wait to see the look on the pupillage panel's faces when he gives them his 'winning smile':-)

V is for Virago

Virago - n - a loud, violent, and ill tempered woman.

A cannot for the life of me think of anyone who I could describe as a virago, perhaps Barman knows someone who fits the description:-)

Well, I'm just about there with this month's homework and must admit that I've found it all quite tedious. I desperately need to practise my advocacy, which I decided yesterday was a load of jumbled rubbish, so I hastily re-worked my skeleton to give it a better flow. An application for an interim payment isn't the most exciting thing to be doing and because it's so dull, I'm finding it impossible to inject any passion into it. I'm sure that in real life it's quite different and has more excitement, but this scenario has an air of silliness about it, which makes it all quite difficult to take seriously.

I get my Legal Research results next week, just before the study weekend, so I'm quite nervous about it, particularly as it's my first BVC assessment result. I'm unsure, but seem to think that I will also receive my civil/criminal MCT results at the same time. On second thoughts, perhaps I do know someone who is a virago!

OLPAS has been ignored for a few days because it is such a tedious task and I find the whole process a bit strange. Having worked for myself for many years, it is quite difficult for me to get to grips with what is basically an application for a job. Oh well, they will either like me or they won't and there is not a deal I can do about that one, but I do keep imagining the perplexed look on the pupillage committee's faces when they get to my application:-) I did wonder about the questionnaire section that asks whether the applicant is: gay, straight, single etc., perhaps if I tick the 'other, please specify' box and then write 'I'll be whatever you want me to be', maybe this will do the trick and clinch me that precious interview? What the hell is 'other' anyway? If you are not straight, gay, bi-sexual, single or married, what else can you be? Cliff Richard perhaps? Perhaps I should put 'hermaphrodite', perhaps not, Chambers might tell me to go f**k myself by way of a polite response to my application.

U is for unicameral

Unicameral - adj - of or characterised by one legislative chamber.

I've never heard of 'unicameral' before, but speaking of Chambers, isn't OLPAS wonderful. It let me in a few weeks ago to register, decided that I really wasn't their type and refused to let me back in again, so I had to start the registration process from scratch.

Having spent hours filling in my very first OLPAS application, I decided that it looked quite pathetic, but sent it anyway. There is something very depressing about filling in application forms and I firmly believe that we shouldn't do our own applications, but instead do someone else's as it's always easier to wax lyrical about another's attributes.

I received my first non-OLPAS rejection a few days ago, first of many I guess, but I will persevere.

The BVC homework this month is not being completed at any sort of speed or to any sort of satisfaction and I'm afraid that my initial BVC enthusiasm has waned to the point of zilch. Thank goodness that it will soon be time for the Summer break, I'm whacked and need a break from it all. It will also be nice to spend more time working 'proper' and to earn a few bob.

Bit of a mixed bag as what areas of law we are covering this month. I have to prepare a Conference plan for a sexual assault, Advocacy for a model who is refusing to cough up for her wedding because the Registrar called her by her 'real' name 'Maud' throughout the marriage ceremony, another lot of Advocacy for a contractual dispute involving a salt sculpture, an Opinion for a claim under Occupiers Liability concerning a petite woman who fell into an open grave and was stuck there until rescued some one and a half hours later, a Particulars of Claim involving a cowboy builder and a meddling DIY enthusiast and finally another lot of Drafting that I haven't even dared look at yet - beam me up Scotty.

I'm still waiting for the results to my first 2 assessments and as time has gone by, my expectations of doing ok have diminished somewhat to the point where I'm now resigned to failure.

You may be wondering what the picture at the top has to do with 'unicameral' or OLPAS or pissedoffitus, well nothing, but following on from Minxy's Lusty blogpost, our Mr Darcey is rather dashing don't you think?

R is for rectitude

Rectitude - n - correctness of judgment

I am no stranger to pro bono work, did 2 years of it during LLB and thoroughly enjoyed it. However, my BVC pro bono is not quite so, er, how shall I say, er, straightforward, in fact it's a minefield and the clients are all (well ok, nearly all) stark raving mad. Perhaps they all come out of the woodwork when it's my pro bono day?

Today was no exception to a 'normal' day's pro bono. The first client looked ok, quite normal in fact, apart from her eyes, which were wide and wild. Having lost her court case at first instance, this lady was in the mood for battle. Not at all thwarted by the somewhat dismal and very conclusive judgment against her, pro bono client is now going to expand her litigation and sue, the solicitor who represented her, the barrister who represented her, the CAB who are giving her bad advice "all the time", the expert witness who's report was "wrong".

The thing is, I do like to enter these things with an open mind, but time after time, the same theme seems to crop up - "conspiracy". Pro bono client didn't loose the case because it had no merit, no, no, no, it was lost because it is all a conspiracy against her, from the judge to the usher, "they're all in on it you know, no I can't give you my name, no you cannot ask what the case was about, because you are in on it too and will inform the other side of my cunning plan for appeal".

The second client looked dodgy from the word go. Another conspiracy theorist, wanted to bring a private criminal prosecution against Woolies for making all of those people redundant. No he didn't work for them, in fact had no connection with Woolworths at all, but he couldn't tell me too much because it involved top secret intellectual property that somehow was connected to making all those people redundant. Had a quick ask around the office and no-one had Stella Rimmington's telephone number to hand, so I sent him to the CAB instead.

Third client was quite normal, apart from the fact that he had been sent to prison for no good reason, but it was something to do with changing the television channel with a pen? No I couldn't work it out either, but was too exhausted to ask:-)

I'm now going to have a little lie down.

P is for pertinacious

Pertinacious - adj - doggedly resolute in purpose or belief; unyielding. Stubbornly persistent.

I have been pertinaciously trying to cobble together a half decent skeleton argument for this month's advocacy, but it's a slow old job. There is a glut of evidence to pick holes in, which makes my task quite difficult as it's just a ten minute submission of no case to answer. We have 4 offences to go through, identification issues, planted evidence and other such criminal delights. *Tut*, to think, Britain's finest constabulary would do such things, well I never.

Having read through last month's Advocacy SGS, tutor comments, I need to be a little more subtle in getting my argument across. Shame, I was rather hoping that "it's plain to see that the coppers are bent buggers" would just about nail it, but it seems that provider's tastes require a more delicate approach to such issues.

Galbraith and Turnbull are being perused in detail and there are a couple of more recent Court of Appeal cases that will help me to free this man from the injustices ruthlessly foisted upon him by P.C.'s in search of an unfair cop *cough*.

Once this lot of homework is finished, I just have to revise for the MCT exam at the end of this month. We have 40 questions each on Civil Litigation and Criminal Litigation, with 3 hours to complete. The mock questions are quite tricky and a few had me stumped, particularly the ones that catch you out with the 'must' and 'may' transposed. Lesson 1 to me, READ THE QUESTION PROPERLY before answering it, I must have messed up 6 or 7 answers because I hadn't read the question properly, which in 'real money' could have meant not far off 10% worth of marks lost by my carelessness. Seems from the MCT mock questions, provider is in love with the Bail Act, unfortunately I'm not quite so amoured and can't see the attraction myself, but hey, it takes all sorts, so I shall revise all things bail before the exam.

What's that soggy white stuff?

It's snowing here today and the back garden is a virginal, fluffy, white carpet of softness. So far I have resisted the temptation to go out and make footprints all over it, but I can't see my restraint holding out much longer (despite being old enough to know better).

Well, the Legal Research paper has been handed in and if they award marks for effort, I should do okay. Not sure that I really nailed it, but hopefully I have got the main gist of it all. Not sure when the results come out either, but for the moment, I will forget all about it and move onto the next BVC task.

Next month we have a 3 hour Criminal Litigation and Civil Litigation exam, so this month's homework will be mostly revision. There are only 2 other lots of homework to do this month, preparation for the mock Conference and mock Advocacy. Fingers crossed, it looks as though I have weathered the storm and things will now start to ease up a little. Funnily enough, I'm not too concerned about the revision, it will be a welcome relief to study something vaguely familiar, rather than the uncharted territories of family law that my LR assessment paper ungraciously threw at me.

Last weekend's Advocacy and Conference results were thankfully back on track and I hope to do well in the mocks next month, but, I'm taking nothing for granted and need to brush up my skills to do well. In Conference, sentencing is proving to be an art rather than a science and it is very easy to get it completely wrong. Advocacy is also tricky, in that I have to learn to deal with judicial intervention more convincingly and confidently (seems a sickly grin doesn't quite suffice). We had to do our first skeleton argument this month and mine was okay, but there is plenty of room for improvement. They are very useful tools and provide a good route map to refer to when the old brain suddenly deletes everything of any possible use in the midst of legal argument.

Anyway, onto more important things, how does tomato soup with melted cheese and toast sound?

O is for Ostler

Ostler - n - a stableman, esp. one at an inn.

This morning, my duties as an Ostler took preference over getting anything remotely difficult or academic instigated.

Yup, mucking out Bar-Os was a useful evasion of doing the dreaded Legal Research, but alas, I must now plod on and try to get top-side of the tomes.

It is a little milder here today and the birds and squirrels are making the most of it and are keeping me amused. We have a moorhen who visits and is convinced that if he stands on top of the shed roof, he will somehow be able to shimmy down and reach the bird feeder tube, that is hanging on the side. Each time he tries to land on the bird feeder, he misses and finishes up in an undignified heap on the floor.

One of the squirrels thinks that he is a 'chad' and peeps over the fence at me whilst I'm typing, with just his cheeky face and paws showing. There are two robins having a territorial war near to Bar-Os' stable, rich pickings for birdies around there, lots of bits of cereal and a barrow full of horse muck, a veritable feast, well worth fighting over. The bird population has increased this last year or two, probably due to an overgrown Victorian walled garden that backs onto our garden, perfect sanctuary for wildlife. We have great crested newts too, courtesy of a natural pond that is just a stone's throw from our house. I dread to think what will happen to the little wildlife haven because the estate has recently been sold to a wealthy American who seems to ignore each and every planning rule going. I asked the local authority to put Tree Preservation Orders in place, but they refused and acres of ancient woodland have been felled. There are some very old varieties of fruit trees in the walled garden, including a mulberry tree, a medlar tree and some lovely old fashioned apple trees. I have a feeling that their days are numbered and that it will all be bulldozed once the arrogant oligarch gets around to 'renovating' this area.

Oh well, must get on with my work...

Writers Block

Sometimes the words flow from the end of my pen (or keyboard as the case may be) and sometimes they don't. I'm in the 'don't zone' today and despite valiant efforts on my own behalf, it's just not happening. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

I've done the difficult bit of my Legal Research - read countless statutes and cases, consulted practitioners texts, jotted down notes, done both electronic and hard copy research, put together the best bits and then some, but it's just not flowing and I've drafted barely 3 paragraphs, so I've taken an executive decision and decided to give it up as a bad job and will go supermarket shopping instead:-(

I think at the back of all of this nonsense is the fact that I'm knackered, but there (as usual) is a mountain of homework to plough through and at the back of my mind is the other 'stuff' that also needs doing before the end of the month. Having taken a nosedive in both Conference and Advocacy, I need to get cracking on both of those topics quite soon, particularly the Advocacy, but as usual my provider is silent on the basic structure of what the hell I'm meant to be doing? It's a hearing for an application to set-aside a default judgment and I haven't a clue what it entails and to make matters worse, we also have to do a skeleton argument. I suppose this is where part-time study is disadvantageous, it's such an isolated existence in the 4 weeks between each study weekend. I should really contact my Advocacy tutor, but having been such a gob-shite at the last study weekend, I'd really prefer to lay low and let the dust settle.

If I'm honest, I'm really not enjoying BVC at the moment, there is just too much work and it's all a bit stressful. When I discovered that BVC was a continuous assessment course, I felt extremely relieved that there would be no more 3 hour, closed book exams to sit, but now that the assessments are about to start, with one each month until I finish, it is somewhat daunting. I do hope that I scrape through the assessments without having to do re-takes, I need a break over the Summer to re-charge my batteries. It was quite a relief to hear that everyone in my group is feeling the same (apart from the ones who do bugger all in between study weekends and wing it), I thought that it was just me being a bit slooooow.

I do promise to return to my usual, silly arse of a self at a later date, but my sparkle has waned a little at the moment. What's more, I'm festering with jealousy at Swiss Tony, who (bless him) has to slave over 7 pages of Legal Research, whilst my provider expects between 40 - 50 pages. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

So, there you have it bloggers, one fed up Bar student, who promises to make you smile and laugh, but just not today.