Interesting

Barmaid sometimes gets a rude awakening with regards to just how incredibly boring she really is. Due to torrential rain and the avoidance of doing anything useful, Barmaid has spent many hours delving into the diverse and piecemeal topic of Environmental Law. Today, she decided to impress all those nearest and dearest to her with a wealth of mind blowingly, fabulous statistics. Starting off with fly-tipping, she eagerly told her captive audience just what a serious problem this was and not only that, but that it was also very lucrative to those organised criminals who fly-tipped on a grand commercial scale. Barmaid was met with "So, did you try that new jasmine scented wash powder then, it's nice isn't it?"

Not to be put off, Barmaid marched onwards, really getting to grips with her finely honed advocacy skills, telling her audience that the average fine for destroying a bat colony was a pathetic £200. She was told "You're so full of shit, your eyes are brown".

Barmaid is quite certain that a judge would never be so rude as to undermine her incredible talent in such a way, but just in case, she has somewhat prematurely decided that she will wear sunglasses on her first professional visit to a court.